The What The Heck Am I Doing With My Life Blog Post

What is your soul enthusiastic about? Beth Sawickie
Have you ever felt like…

  • what am I doing with my life?
  • “Is there something I’m supposed to be doing to help others and make a positive impact on the world?”
  • “Is it something so simple that I’m missing it?”
  • “What if I get to the end with a long list of could-of, should-of, would-ofs?”
  • “I could do this, I could do that, so many options/opportunities – which to choose?”‘
  • What IS my life purpose?

That pretty much sums up how I have been feeling on and off for a while now.  Could actually be… but it is most burned in my recent memory.

My most recent bought of “life questioning” has been stirred by Brendon Burchard and his “Did I live? Did I love? Did I Matter?” slogan.

Then there’s been Wayne Dyer and “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Well, Mr. Dyer, what if you have a symphony, some calypso music, a barber shop quartet jingle, some doo-wop, some soul stirring blues, a song with some country twang, a rockin’ balls-to-the-wall tune and some heart-thumpin’ dance beats.

Which one do you pull out of your soul first?  Most will have entirely different audiences.  Do you present yourself as — here is ALL my music?  Do you just let one peak out for a bit?  Do you keep ’em all separate?

Do you just go with whatever one is moving you at the moment?   Knowing that the music channel can be switched mid-song?

Maybe some of those songs are just ones I like and not ones that really come from my soul.  I need to be aware of that so I don’t get side-tracked writing a symphony that isn’t true to me.

The first step for me is figuring out what I DON’T want!

This can be easy considering I’ve definitely found a lot of things I DON’T want!

I Don’t Want:

  • 9 to 5, 8 to 4, 10 to 6 – Monday-Friday, trading hours for dollars J-O-B.
  • stress.
  • a boss.
  • I don’t want to trade hours for dollars.

Things I’ve realized:

  • There are TONS of opportunities out there – lots of little shiny balls….  I don’t need to follow all of them.
  • My soul has to be enthusiastic about what I do. One person’s shiny ball (lol). can be another persons 30 lb. bowling ball that is a burden.  Enthusiasm is contagious and when I see someone ecstatic about how they help others… I get sucked in and say “me too” – you’re enthusiastic, I’ll be enthusiastic too!  Then eventually I realize… it is not true to me – it is not something that my soul is enthusiastic about.  It was a superficial enthusiasm that I caught on to.  Am I riding on someone else’s wave of enthusiasm or on my OWN wave of enthusiasm?

I remember going ocean kayaking years ago down the Jersey Shore.  There were a few of us all out on those yellow plastic boats paddling our way through the waves.  The BEST part was catching a wave and riding it into shore!  LOVED IT!

What would happen, though, when there were two of us that caught the same wave nearby each other?  First – lots of joy and enthusiasm at catching that wave!  Then – crash! boom! bang! Hard yellow plastic kayaks slamming into one another, turning over, occupants tossed and sometimes being bonked on the head with a boat.  Enthusiasm deflated!

I found it more enjoyable to keep my distance a bit and ride my OWN wave – I didn’t need to compete with anyone.

  • It is OK to follow your own path.  Just because others look at you like you’re nuts doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it.  Seriously – when I stepped aside from teaching others about Amazon I KNOW a few folks thought I was crazy.  How could I leave a business that was consistently making me more and more money?  In a short amount of time we had grown a large audience of people that WANTED to hear from us.  We helped people every day, gave away tons of GREAT valuable content AND made money too! Who the heck in their right mind would leave that?

It checked a lot of the boxes of my “wants”.  I had a flexible schedule, I could work from anywhere for the most part, I was helping others and I wasn’t trading hours for dollars.  So why would I leave it behind?  The answer – I was tagging along on someone elses wave of enthusiasm.  AND I was not enriching my soul.  The helping people part was satisfying… but I as getting so consumed with it that I wasn’t taking care of myself.  I finally acknowledged that there are only so many hours in a day and only so many days we get to live… so how did I want to spend them?  The answer for me was, not this!  If I was going to put my heart and soul into something it was going to be something that truly made my soul sing!  I had a big struggle with this – but I knew deep down in my soul that this was a step on my journey and I needed to continue down my own path.

I DO Want:

  • Flexibility to work when and where I want. (This does not mean NOT work).  I’d like to be able to create value with me and my laptop wherever I happen to be.
  • I enjoy helping people.     This is something I had the opportunity to do when I taught others about selling on Amazon.  I helped people get started, gave encouragement, and shared my experience with it. Was I perfect at being a seller? No!  Was I a 6-figure seller? um-NO!  What I did have was enthusiasm (for a while anyway).  I started with sharing my experience, then built an audience who wanted to hear about it.  Then they told me what they wanted to learn more about and I obliged.  THAT is what I’d like to do again!
  • My business NEEDS to resonate with my soul.  There are a zillion and one different things I can do to earn money….but what I REALLY want to do is enrich my soul!  That is what I was missing in any 9-to-5 I’ve had and in all online businesses I’ve created – soul enrichment – soul enthusiasm!  It took me a long time to realize that – for me – I needed to so something that was all-encompassing.  Something that wasn’t just a j-o-b, but a calling.  A deep soul calling that would be ingrained into my very existence – into my day-to-day life.  As Ghandi said – “My life is my message.”

What do I have to share from my soul that I am willing to LIVE EVERY DAY?  

My experience from the most challenging portion of my life…. the part blessing and a curse – Bipolar II Disorder.  You can read more about my challenges with depression and bipolar disorder here and in my book “Get Back on the Feel Good Train: 4 Simple Strategies to Help Get You Back on Track“.

Each time I would come out of a depression I’d be left thinking – “ok, now what”.  It was as if my brain was a hard drive that had been totally wiped clean.  I had my basic operating system (breathe in, breathe out, eat, sleep, bathroom).  But as far as what programs to install…. I didn’t know what I enjoyed anymore.

I needed to get back on track, but I didn’t know how.  Did I have things that I enjoyed?  Could I find them again?  And most importantly… could I keep myself from spiraling down that deep dark hole of depression again?

Going through those challenges helped me realize that to be happy, fulfilled and balanced I NEEDED to make living a life of balance my focus.  I needed to become an active participant in my mental physical health.  I also needed a plan – simple things I could do to help me feel good and stay healthy.

That plan became the 4-G’s of Feeling Good (Goin’, Greens, Givin’, Gratitude) and my calling is to help others get back to feeling good – and thriving – after life has kicked their butt.

Doing the 4-G’s has had a huge positive impact on my life.

  • They keep me feeling good just about every day.
  • They have somehow re-connected me to long lost passions – spending time in nature, being crafty.  Before I didn’t remember what it was I used to enjoy.
  • They have awakened passions I didn’t know I had – photography and creating mandalas like you see here and throughout this site.
  • I know that when I have a bad day, I have a plan – the 4-G’s – to help me get back on track to feeling great and loving life!

By the way… a side effect of finding my souls calling and sharing it with others…..feeling nauseous!  At least that is what I’ve heard.  When you are on the right path, feeling nauseous and wanting to run the other way screaming is apparently a good sign!

If you are trying to figure out what the heck it is you want to do with your life….

  • Find out what you don’t want.
  • Find out what you DO want.
  • What life experiences have you had that you have overcome and learned from?
  • Share those with others – ask “How can I help? How can I serve?” and prepare to feel ill…at least at the beginning!

And doin’ the 4-G’s of Feeling Good just might help you find what makes YOUR soul enthusiastic!

Now I turn it over to you….

Have you found your calling? What is the best piece of advice that you would give someone trying to find their calling?

If you are searching for what makes your soul enthusiastic…. what is your biggest hurdle so far?

Please share below in the comments 🙂

Do What Comes Naturally

by Beth Sawickie  "What Comes Naturally"

Prints of this image are available HERE.

View ALL of my Mandalas & Photos HERE.

“A flower doesn’t think about growing, blooming and setting seed…It just does what comes naturally.” – Beth Sawickie [Tweet this!]

I’ve been doing a lot of pondering lately about “what is my life’s purpose” – What is uniquely mine that I can share with the world and have some sort of positive impact on it?  How can I “be the change”?  What really makes my heart sing?  Am I on the right path? What if I’m headed the wrong way?  Maybe this one is it…. no, it’s that one…or maybe over there!  So much indecision, uncertainty and FEAR! Unnecessary, useless – fear.

I’m prone to coming up with what may be a good idea and then making this whole grand plan around it.  How I am going to achieve it – individual steps – when I’m going to do each step…etc.  Have you heard the saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.”?  I have found that to be very true….and I’ve definitely been the cause of many bursts of laughter.

So – I’ve decided to give up the fear and uncertainty and to give up the PLANS.

I remember Dr. Wayne Dyer talking about watching an otter.  And he said something like they are content in their “otterness”.  They don’t try to be something they are not.  And they do what comes naturally to them.  They don’t worry, obsess and act out of fear – self preservation sure – but not as a habit.

Then, just today, I watched an interview that Marie Forleo did with Mastin Kipp about “How to Live Your Purpose“.  Mastin is the guy beyond .  He shares his story in the video – very inspiring.  It is around 20 minutes long – but definitely time well spent.  He talks about how he just HAD to share things he learned as he dove into self-discovery.  And – ya know what? – he didn’t have a PLAN!  He just knew he wanted to – HAD TO – share stuff that resonated with him about love with others and it grew from there.

By the way…If you are an entrepreneur doing your own thing but catching flack from others for it, you’ll want to forward to around the 15 minute mark and see how Mastin handled that.

There have been many other experiences and people who have been pointing me in this direction lately too – my friend Jeff Vionito who chose to do what comes naturally to him – share his seriously beautiful and touching poetry with others, Michael Neill and his “Inside Out Revolution”, Kate Northrup and even my dog – Soc (short for Socrates).  I’ll be writing about them more in the future.

I have decided that, hence forth, I am doing what comes naturally to me.  I will be like the flower – I am going to bloom, grow and share my seeds of thought with others – naturally.

I’m not exactly sure how it is all going to come together… I don’t have a definitive “plan”.  But what I do have is a goal – To be true to myself and share myself authentically with the world.  

As of right now, that is through sharing my thoughts on life and photography/images with the world.  And I’m going to work in there things about living a balanced life (mind, body and soul) – because that is part of what I am here to learn to do!

Hopefully I’ll find some people who “catch my drift” and maybe even inspire a few 🙂

I would love to hear what you think about doing what comes naturally and life purpose…please share below.