What to do when giving makes you feel burned out

How To Give Without Feeling Drained, Burned Out and Angry

In this podcast Beth explains why giving can leave you feeling drained, burned out and maybe even angry. She shows you how you can give and truly feel GREAT! It’s not what you think!

Here is the .mp3 which you can download:

Begin transcript:

Hi, this is Beth Sawickie from and I’d like to welcome you to the Thriving After Life Kicks Your Butt Podcast. Where we get back to feeling great, loving life and thriving.

Today I want to talk to you about why giving leaves you feeling drained and it might even leave you feeling angry or pissed off.

You might not want to admit it because we are all supposed to give of ourselves and help others – right? And the more we give to others the more we are supposed to receive in return and the better we are supposed to feel.  But to be quite honest, if you’re like me, sometimes you’ve been in positions where you are giving and giving and giving and you just feel like crap. You feel depleted, you feel worn out, you feel used up.  Eventually you might feel pissed off because you are giving all this and why aren’t you getting it back?

Now – what I also want to explain to you is how you can feel great. Not just the surface thing of ‘look at me I’m doing a good deed’ thing – but really, truly feel great deep down in your soul.

I’m going to explain it to you using a little analogy here.

Think of yourself as a well.  You know like the wells that people go and they get fresh water out from? When I picture a well, I picture the older style wells that have – it’s built up with the rocks and it’s circular.


** Rest of transcript coming soon ***

Learn how to fill YOUR “Feel Good Well”, sign-up for the Free “From Blah to Bliss” mini-course. Here:

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Beth Sawickie is a survivor of depression and Bipolar II Disorder who has learned to THRIVE by making her mental, physical and spiritual health top priorities. Beth helps and inspires others get back to thriving after life has kicked their butt!

From Blah to Bliss by Beth Sawickie

New Book – From Blah to Bliss! – coming September 2014

New book coming out in September 2014.  Available on Amazon Kindle by September 8th!

“From Blah to Bliss! One Woman’s Journey Through Depression to Thriving!” (with tips to get you there too!) – by Beth Sawickie

I am sooo stoked to get this book out into the world.

In it I will share:

  • My journey through depression and bipolar II disorder – from teenage years into my 30’s.  The ups, downs, denial and acceptance.
  • Where I’m at Now – Happy, healthy and forever learning from life.
  • How I got to “Bliss” and how I plan to stay here.
  • The 4-G’s of Feelin’ Good (Goin’, Greens, Givin’, Gratitude)
  • and More!

Make sure you are signed up to my newsletter and I’ll let you know as soon as the book is available!

From Blah to Bliss by Beth Sawickie

The What The Heck Am I Doing With My Life Blog Post

What is your soul enthusiastic about? Beth Sawickie
Have you ever felt like…

  • what am I doing with my life?
  • “Is there something I’m supposed to be doing to help others and make a positive impact on the world?”
  • “Is it something so simple that I’m missing it?”
  • “What if I get to the end with a long list of could-of, should-of, would-ofs?”
  • “I could do this, I could do that, so many options/opportunities – which to choose?”‘
  • What IS my life purpose?

That pretty much sums up how I have been feeling on and off for a while now.  Could actually be… but it is most burned in my recent memory.

My most recent bought of “life questioning” has been stirred by Brendon Burchard and his “Did I live? Did I love? Did I Matter?” slogan.

Then there’s been Wayne Dyer and “Don’t die with your music still in you.”

Well, Mr. Dyer, what if you have a symphony, some calypso music, a barber shop quartet jingle, some doo-wop, some soul stirring blues, a song with some country twang, a rockin’ balls-to-the-wall tune and some heart-thumpin’ dance beats.

Which one do you pull out of your soul first?  Most will have entirely different audiences.  Do you present yourself as — here is ALL my music?  Do you just let one peak out for a bit?  Do you keep ’em all separate?

Do you just go with whatever one is moving you at the moment?   Knowing that the music channel can be switched mid-song?

Maybe some of those songs are just ones I like and not ones that really come from my soul.  I need to be aware of that so I don’t get side-tracked writing a symphony that isn’t true to me.

The first step for me is figuring out what I DON’T want!

This can be easy considering I’ve definitely found a lot of things I DON’T want!

I Don’t Want:

  • 9 to 5, 8 to 4, 10 to 6 – Monday-Friday, trading hours for dollars J-O-B.
  • stress.
  • a boss.
  • I don’t want to trade hours for dollars.

Things I’ve realized:

  • There are TONS of opportunities out there – lots of little shiny balls….  I don’t need to follow all of them.
  • My soul has to be enthusiastic about what I do. One person’s shiny ball (lol). can be another persons 30 lb. bowling ball that is a burden.  Enthusiasm is contagious and when I see someone ecstatic about how they help others… I get sucked in and say “me too” – you’re enthusiastic, I’ll be enthusiastic too!  Then eventually I realize… it is not true to me – it is not something that my soul is enthusiastic about.  It was a superficial enthusiasm that I caught on to.  Am I riding on someone else’s wave of enthusiasm or on my OWN wave of enthusiasm?

I remember going ocean kayaking years ago down the Jersey Shore.  There were a few of us all out on those yellow plastic boats paddling our way through the waves.  The BEST part was catching a wave and riding it into shore!  LOVED IT!

What would happen, though, when there were two of us that caught the same wave nearby each other?  First – lots of joy and enthusiasm at catching that wave!  Then – crash! boom! bang! Hard yellow plastic kayaks slamming into one another, turning over, occupants tossed and sometimes being bonked on the head with a boat.  Enthusiasm deflated!

I found it more enjoyable to keep my distance a bit and ride my OWN wave – I didn’t need to compete with anyone.

  • It is OK to follow your own path.  Just because others look at you like you’re nuts doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try it.  Seriously – when I stepped aside from teaching others about Amazon I KNOW a few folks thought I was crazy.  How could I leave a business that was consistently making me more and more money?  In a short amount of time we had grown a large audience of people that WANTED to hear from us.  We helped people every day, gave away tons of GREAT valuable content AND made money too! Who the heck in their right mind would leave that?

It checked a lot of the boxes of my “wants”.  I had a flexible schedule, I could work from anywhere for the most part, I was helping others and I wasn’t trading hours for dollars.  So why would I leave it behind?  The answer – I was tagging along on someone elses wave of enthusiasm.  AND I was not enriching my soul.  The helping people part was satisfying… but I as getting so consumed with it that I wasn’t taking care of myself.  I finally acknowledged that there are only so many hours in a day and only so many days we get to live… so how did I want to spend them?  The answer for me was, not this!  If I was going to put my heart and soul into something it was going to be something that truly made my soul sing!  I had a big struggle with this – but I knew deep down in my soul that this was a step on my journey and I needed to continue down my own path.

I DO Want:

  • Flexibility to work when and where I want. (This does not mean NOT work).  I’d like to be able to create value with me and my laptop wherever I happen to be.
  • I enjoy helping people.     This is something I had the opportunity to do when I taught others about selling on Amazon.  I helped people get started, gave encouragement, and shared my experience with it. Was I perfect at being a seller? No!  Was I a 6-figure seller? um-NO!  What I did have was enthusiasm (for a while anyway).  I started with sharing my experience, then built an audience who wanted to hear about it.  Then they told me what they wanted to learn more about and I obliged.  THAT is what I’d like to do again!
  • My business NEEDS to resonate with my soul.  There are a zillion and one different things I can do to earn money….but what I REALLY want to do is enrich my soul!  That is what I was missing in any 9-to-5 I’ve had and in all online businesses I’ve created – soul enrichment – soul enthusiasm!  It took me a long time to realize that – for me – I needed to so something that was all-encompassing.  Something that wasn’t just a j-o-b, but a calling.  A deep soul calling that would be ingrained into my very existence – into my day-to-day life.  As Ghandi said – “My life is my message.”

What do I have to share from my soul that I am willing to LIVE EVERY DAY?  

My experience from the most challenging portion of my life…. the part blessing and a curse – Bipolar II Disorder.  You can read more about my challenges with depression and bipolar disorder here and in my book “Get Back on the Feel Good Train: 4 Simple Strategies to Help Get You Back on Track“.

Each time I would come out of a depression I’d be left thinking – “ok, now what”.  It was as if my brain was a hard drive that had been totally wiped clean.  I had my basic operating system (breathe in, breathe out, eat, sleep, bathroom).  But as far as what programs to install…. I didn’t know what I enjoyed anymore.

I needed to get back on track, but I didn’t know how.  Did I have things that I enjoyed?  Could I find them again?  And most importantly… could I keep myself from spiraling down that deep dark hole of depression again?

Going through those challenges helped me realize that to be happy, fulfilled and balanced I NEEDED to make living a life of balance my focus.  I needed to become an active participant in my mental physical health.  I also needed a plan – simple things I could do to help me feel good and stay healthy.

That plan became the 4-G’s of Feeling Good (Goin’, Greens, Givin’, Gratitude) and my calling is to help others get back to feeling good – and thriving – after life has kicked their butt.

Doing the 4-G’s has had a huge positive impact on my life.

  • They keep me feeling good just about every day.
  • They have somehow re-connected me to long lost passions – spending time in nature, being crafty.  Before I didn’t remember what it was I used to enjoy.
  • They have awakened passions I didn’t know I had – photography and creating mandalas like you see here and throughout this site.
  • I know that when I have a bad day, I have a plan – the 4-G’s – to help me get back on track to feeling great and loving life!

By the way… a side effect of finding my souls calling and sharing it with others…..feeling nauseous!  At least that is what I’ve heard.  When you are on the right path, feeling nauseous and wanting to run the other way screaming is apparently a good sign!

If you are trying to figure out what the heck it is you want to do with your life….

  • Find out what you don’t want.
  • Find out what you DO want.
  • What life experiences have you had that you have overcome and learned from?
  • Share those with others – ask “How can I help? How can I serve?” and prepare to feel ill…at least at the beginning!

And doin’ the 4-G’s of Feeling Good just might help you find what makes YOUR soul enthusiastic!

Now I turn it over to you….

Have you found your calling? What is the best piece of advice that you would give someone trying to find their calling?

If you are searching for what makes your soul enthusiastic…. what is your biggest hurdle so far?

Please share below in the comments 🙂

I Failed – Again!

"I'd Rather Learn From My Failures than...", like I wrote in “Get Back on the Feel Good Train” – sometimes my virtual train just gets thrown of the tracks.  I’m not exactly sure how it happened this time – it wasn’t a sudden derailment.  It happened slowly over the last couple of weeks.

In 2013 I made the decision to be an active participant in my physical and mental health.  This lead to me creating the “4-G’s of Feeling Good” (Goin’, Greens, Givin’, Gratitude).

When I make following them daily a priority, my days are much better.  I feel centered, calm, balanced and happy.

I had been recording My 4-G Journal every day online.  That is something that I was doing on paper prior to putting it online.  Well, when I stopped typing it on this site, I didn’t go back to physically writing it down in my journal.  That was a mistake.

Then, I fell off the wagon.

While I may not know exactly WHAT happened to derail me, I can tell you that I haven’t been doing the 4-G’s of Feeling Good!  Those are what I had been doing to help keep me on that Feel Good Train.  4 simple things that bring so much good into my life….and I slacked.

I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I can tell you where I ended up…. oh-shits-ville!

This is where my body feels like crap, I’ve put back on at least 5 pounds (been scared to step on the scale), my energy level sucks, skin is yucky, I’m eating way too much sugar and carbs, and my brain feels foggy and scattered at the same time.

Lately I’ve been having at least one bowl of ice cream a day, complete with Magic Shell, rainbow sprinkles and whipped cream.

(NOT) Goin’

Finding excuses each day to not move my body much.

  • It’s too hot to go and walk
  • I’ll do it later
  • Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up early enough to go out and walk before it gets too hot
  • It’s raining, it looks like it’s going to rain, oh the weatherman said there’s a 20 percent chance of rain today.
  • I’m too tired.

(NOT Eatin’) Greens

Even preparing my green smoothie or green juice became something that I would avoid.

  • I didn’t have all the ingredients.
  • I didn’t have the time (5-7 minutes) to make the smoothie/juice.
  • I’d make one later.
  • I need to make it fresh every time (I believe this for smoothies – but for the juices, I could just make them the night before so they’re ready for drinking in the morning just after my warm water with lemon).
  • I’ll just eat more veggies later in the day (doesn’t happen).
  • Ah – I can skip today – I’ll start again tomorrow.

 Givin’ and Gratitude – yeah right !?!?

I’ve still been Givin’ a bit – but without replenishing my OWN reserves by taking care of myself…that givin’ doesn’t work out so well.

And Gratitude…. that’d be a quick (like the Flash quick) little internal mention in my brain before going to bed – if I remembered.  And often I would not take the time to reflect on the day and be grateful for anything.

All sorts of excuses and they are ALL BALONEY! TOTAL BALONEY!


But here’s the deal… sitting here and wallowing in self-pitty, beating myself up, putting myself down and having yet another bowl of ice cream with magic shell, rainbow sprinkles and whipped cream – will NOT help me to feel better.

I want to FEEL GOOD!  I am willing to make choices that help me to Feel Good!

On a good note…

I have recognized that my virtual train got de-railed – and recognized it sooner than I had in the past.

This has reminded me how I DON’T want to feel and WHY I do the 4-G’s in the first place.

I am looking forward to getting my train back on track and observing my body, mind and soul respond positively to the 4-G’s 🙂

Right now I am putting my train back on track.  Sure, I just had a bowl of ice cream and I didn’t exercise today.  The only moment I have is right NOW!  I can’t go back and change the poor choices I’ve made over the last couple of weeks.

What I CAN do is acknowledge that I goofed, call myself out on my baloney excuses and move forward knowing that I can choose to make better decisions – things that will support my ultimate goal of Feeling Good!

What I am doing right now is sharing something real with you (Givin’) that may help to inspire you to get yourself back on track.

And as far as Gratitude goes:

  • I am grateful for recognizing that I was making poor choices for my body, mind and soul – and realizing that I can now make better choices.
  • I am grateful for the rain we had today that watered all the plants including the new flowers I put in the ground.
  • I am grateful for the songs of the crickets being carried on the cool breeze coming in the window.

I want to hear from you!

What baloney excuses do you use that keep you for doing things that help you feel good?

How do you get yourself back on track?

Let me know in the comments below 🙂

My Feel Good Journal – Day 26

My Feel Good Journal - Day 26 Beth Sawickie

It was a WONDERFUL day!  Sunshine, warm weather – got work done AND got to spend time outside!

Then… I ran into computer problems that have left me exhausted.  I seriously think I’m going to spend part of the day tomorrow backing-up files – wiping everything – and re-installing Windows.   Ugh!

Other than PC problems…a great day!

Here are my 4-G’s for Day 26:

What are “The 4-G’s of Feeling Good”? – find out HERE.

Goin’: Walked with Soc for an hour.

We went over to Whitesbog for a break today.  He was very patient while I photographed every flower I could find 🙂  Stay tuned to see them in an upcoming mandala.

Greens:  Smoothie – usual recipe.

Givin’: “click to give


I am grateful for almonds – raw almonds.

I am grateful for getting to watch a beautiful sunset!

I am grateful for sleeping with the windows open 🙂

Making “Feeling Good” choices like these all started with doing the “4-G’s”! I’d love it if you joined me in doing the “4-G’s” – grab your free copy of my book that explains it all “Get Back on the Feel Good Train: 4 Simple Strategies for Getting You Back on Track” HERE. and there’s a printable journal sheet too!

I’d love to hear your 4-G’s…. share ’em below…