I Failed – Again!

"I'd Rather Learn From My Failures than..." http://www.bethsawickie.com/i-failed-againWell, like I wrote in “Get Back on the Feel Good Train” – sometimes my virtual train just gets thrown of the tracks.  I’m not exactly sure how it happened this time – it wasn’t a sudden derailment.  It happened slowly over the last couple of weeks.

In 2013 I made the decision to be an active participant in my physical and mental health.  This lead to me creating the “4-G’s of Feeling Good” (Goin’, Greens, Givin’, Gratitude).

When I make following them daily a priority, my days are much better.  I feel centered, calm, balanced and happy.

I had been recording My 4-G Journal every day online.  That is something that I was doing on paper prior to putting it online.  Well, when I stopped typing it on this site, I didn’t go back to physically writing it down in my journal.  That was a mistake.

Then, I fell off the wagon.

While I may not know exactly WHAT happened to derail me, I can tell you that I haven’t been doing the 4-G’s of Feeling Good!  Those are what I had been doing to help keep me on that Feel Good Train.  4 simple things that bring so much good into my life….and I slacked.

I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I can tell you where I ended up…. oh-shits-ville!

This is where my body feels like crap, I’ve put back on at least 5 pounds (been scared to step on the scale), my energy level sucks, skin is yucky, I’m eating way too much sugar and carbs, and my brain feels foggy and scattered at the same time.

Lately I’ve been having at least one bowl of ice cream a day, complete with Magic Shell, rainbow sprinkles and whipped cream.

(NOT) Goin’

Finding excuses each day to not move my body much.

  • It’s too hot to go and walk
  • I’ll do it later
  • Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up early enough to go out and walk before it gets too hot
  • It’s raining, it looks like it’s going to rain, oh the weatherman said there’s a 20 percent chance of rain today.
  • I’m too tired.

(NOT Eatin’) Greens

Even preparing my green smoothie or green juice became something that I would avoid.

  • I didn’t have all the ingredients.
  • I didn’t have the time (5-7 minutes) to make the smoothie/juice.
  • I’d make one later.
  • I need to make it fresh every time (I believe this for smoothies – but for the juices, I could just make them the night before so they’re ready for drinking in the morning just after my warm water with lemon).
  • I’ll just eat more veggies later in the day (doesn’t happen).
  • Ah – I can skip today – I’ll start again tomorrow.

 Givin’ and Gratitude – yeah right !?!?

I’ve still been Givin’ a bit – but without replenishing my OWN reserves by taking care of myself…that givin’ doesn’t work out so well.

And Gratitude…. that’d be a quick (like the Flash quick) little internal mention in my brain before going to bed – if I remembered.  And often I would not take the time to reflect on the day and be grateful for anything.

All sorts of excuses and they are ALL BALONEY! TOTAL BALONEY!


But here’s the deal… sitting here and wallowing in self-pitty, beating myself up, putting myself down and having yet another bowl of ice cream with magic shell, rainbow sprinkles and whipped cream – will NOT help me to feel better.

I want to FEEL GOOD!  I am willing to make choices that help me to Feel Good!

On a good note…

I have recognized that my virtual train got de-railed – and recognized it sooner than I had in the past.

This has reminded me how I DON’T want to feel and WHY I do the 4-G’s in the first place.

I am looking forward to getting my train back on track and observing my body, mind and soul respond positively to the 4-G’s 🙂

Right now I am putting my train back on track.  Sure, I just had a bowl of ice cream and I didn’t exercise today.  The only moment I have is right NOW!  I can’t go back and change the poor choices I’ve made over the last couple of weeks.

What I CAN do is acknowledge that I goofed, call myself out on my baloney excuses and move forward knowing that I can choose to make better decisions – things that will support my ultimate goal of Feeling Good!

What I am doing right now is sharing something real with you (Givin’) that may help to inspire you to get yourself back on track.

And as far as Gratitude goes:

  • I am grateful for recognizing that I was making poor choices for my body, mind and soul – and realizing that I can now make better choices.
  • I am grateful for the rain we had today that watered all the plants including the new flowers I put in the ground.
  • I am grateful for the songs of the crickets being carried on the cool breeze coming in the window.

I want to hear from you!

What baloney excuses do you use that keep you for doing things that help you feel good?

How do you get yourself back on track?

Let me know in the comments below 🙂



2 replies
  1. Ellen
    Ellen says:

    I love your total honesty. I can so relate since I have always had issues around food especially, that gross feeling when I just go for it, feel gross, fear of the scale etc.. But most of all thank you for being so authentic and willing to be vulnerable. Oh and I still can’t stop staring at the picture of Syd. xoxo

  2. Beth
    Beth says:

    Thank you so much, Ellen 🙂
    For me, it was scary to just put honest stuff out there. It’s not so bad once I’ve done it – and receiving positive comments like yours are definitely encouraging 🙂 I am so happy that you like the picture!

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